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Counseling to Help Heal from a
Dysfunctional Family of Origin

"Those who cannot remember the past
are condemned to repeat it."

- George Santayana


  • Counseling, even for present day problems, almost always has some degree of focus on your past. This is because it is the source of your learned experience. Your choices in the present draw heavily on this body of learning.
  • From simple walking and talking to how you choose mates and careers; the experiences in your memory will shape your thinking and behavior. Think of it as your personal "reference" library.
  • If there is any level of dysfunction in your familial history, it too can influence what you do today. Often, in a way you may not quite understand, yet wish wasn't part of you.

This is because your brain operates like a digital video recorder with unlimited storage. From birth we capture all experience. It is amazing how your brain does this, and how it recalls what you need.

As an example:

APPLE

Your brain just recalled an image, what the letters A-P-P-L-E are and mean, the sound of the word, the color, the taste ..... etc.

It also recalled times you have ate an apple as well as any emotions, thoughts, opinions, etc. that were experienced. Your brain did it all, at light speed, with just the trigger of seeing a word.

Not all of this is presently in your conscious awarness; it is, however, just under that level, ready to influence or help evaluate if needed. Maybe even reading this has caused you to want an apple ???


Counseling you about how to heal hurts of the past doesn't require you to eat apples. Just digest the concept.

Your brain also has stored that time, as a child, when you were really embarrassed and so desperately wanted someone to tell you it was all right.

It also has stored that time Mom or Dad punished or yelled at you for some behavior. It has stored it all, right down to the way Dad's eyebrows arched when he looked at you, or how Mom's voice sounded as she expressed her disappointment.

Your life to-date is video taped, with full audio, in your brain. You may "block" some items from easy recall, and they are there nonetheless.

Sometimes, without your conscious awareness or consent, these scenes get replayed. This "past" can impact your present.

This is because another feature of the human mind is that it likes to complete unresolved or confused issues. Negative parts of your past remain this way if not finished.

Think of them as unhealed or poorly healed wounds. Your mind won't quit on these issues until the wound is restored without scars.

It often helps explain why you do certain things or make certain choices repeatedley and the results are not what you wanted or hoped for. Some examples:


What you lived through as a child and adolescent has some level of dysfunction involved with it.

The degree of dysfunction ranges from the extreme of a violent drug or alcohol influenced home to the "good" home where Dad or Mom just weren't all that present.

Ultimately, the impact on you is a degree of shame that has influenced what you think and believe about yourself.

You can learn more on the next page.




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