Counseling for Relationships With a Substance AbuserCounseling and understanding for this issue is best captured by the words of what is known as The Serenity Prayer God, Grant me the SERENITY to; 
You know you are in a relationship with someone that has a problem with alcohol or other drugs. The only real way you can help is to first, ACCEPT this, and second, gain the WISDOM to know that you cannot change them. Reality Time: Only they can change themselves. You are not responsible for their choice to drink or use, nor are you responsible for their choice to stop. Gain the power to separate yourself from their behavior choice. Don’t become as addicted to this person, as they are to the substance they are using. Stop reacting to their behavior. It is okay to focus on yourself. Self care is respect for self and not allowing others to hurt or manipulate you. Self-centeredness is caring only for the self - what your partner is showing towards you. Once you have a grasp of your Co-dependency with this individual, you will be in a position to make decisions that are best for everyone involved. To help further your understanding about how you have become linked with this person, as well as actions you can take to help yourself, your family and your partner, the following books can offer help and hope. You may decide to continue in the relationship whether they choose to stop using or not. You may decide it is best for you, and your children, to separate from them for a time. You are NOT responsible for their drinking/using behavior. You ARE responsible for dealing with the impact on you and you family. You can’t stop their drinking or using, and you can stop the pain it is causing you. This process is not something to try and do alone. You deserve the dignity of support from others who know and understand what you are dealing with. Feeling alone with a problem stinks! You are not alone with this problem. We just need to know that you are “out there,” and want our help. You can get help and support through counseling with a therapist. You can also get support from others who are going through what you are. To find out more click here:  INTERVENTIONS Another avenue many use when dealing with a problem drinker or drug abuser is that of the intervention. This is a specialized type of counseling service that attemtps to make the drinker aware of how their alcohol consumption and behavior is effecting their life and the lives of others. This is not a route to take without a good amount of planning. It is not just confronting the individual. For an intervention to be effective it is best done by professionals who have the training and expereince. It is sad that the person you care about is choosing to use a substance in a way that is harmful to them, you, and your relationship. You don't derserve to be mistreated and you can take action to remove the pain from your life.
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