Counseling Problem
Drinking Relationships
My counseling for this issue begins with the
Serenity Prayer
God, Grant me the SERENITY to;
ACCEPT the things I cannot change,
The COURAGE to change the things I can,
and the WISDOM to know the difference.
You may know that you are in a relationship with someone that has a problem with alcohol. You are going to have to ACCEPT this and gain the WISDOM to know that you cannot change them.
Reality Time: Only they can change themselves. You are not responsible for their choice to drink, nor are you responsible for their choice to stop.
Gain the power to separate yourself from their behavior choice. Don’t become as addicted to this person, as they are to alcohol. Stop reacting to their behavior.
It is okay to focus on yourself. Self care is respect for self and not allowing others to hurt or manipulate you. Self-centeredness is caring only for self - what the drinker is showing you.
To help understand how you have become linked with your drinker I would recommend reading the following books.
Once you have a grasp of your Co-dependency with the drinker, you will you be able to make decisions that are in your (and the drinker’s) best interest.
You may decide to continue in the relationship whether they choose to stop drinking or not. You may decide it is best for you, and your children, to separate from the drinker for a time.
You are not responsible for their drinking. You are responsible for dealing with the impact on you and you family. You can’t stop their drinking, and you can stop the pain it is causing you.
This process is not something to try and do alone. You deserve the dignity of support from others who know and understand what you are dealing with. Feeling alone with a problem stinks! You are not alone with this problem.
We just need to know that you are “out there,” and want our help. You can get help and support through counseling with a therapist.
You can also get support from others who are going through what you are. To find out more click here:
INTERVENTIONS
Another avenue many use when dealing with a problem drinker is that of the intervention. This is a specialized type of counseling service that attemtps to make the drinker aware of how their alcohol consumption and behavior is effecting their life and the lives of others.
This is not a route to take without a good amount of planning. It is not just confronting the drinker. For an intervention to be effective it is best done by professionals who have the training and expereince.
It is sad that the person you care about is choosing to use alcohol in a way that is harmful to them, you, and your relationship. You don't derserve to be mistreated and you can take action to remove the pain from your life.
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